I was cutting brush on a steep pond bank the other day when a wasp popped me under the left eye.
I scampered up the bank like a monkey up a rope and headed straight for my pickup truck, where I keep a pouch of chewing tobacco just for such occasions.
By now my eye was already swelling shut, and pain was licking at the bottom of my eyeball.
Stuffing a big wad of chew in my mouth to wet it, I sat down and applied the poultice to the sting. Within minutes the pain was gone.
After about 15 minutes I went inside and placed an ice cube wrapped in paper against the spot to reduce swelling. In no time I was back to normal.
I know the accepted medical treatment for a sting is to take an antihistamine, especially if you’re allergic, which I’m not.
Other remedies include damp baking soda, toothpaste and various over-the-counter products.
In my experience, nothing beats chewing tobacco.
Mobbed by wasps
I first heard about it many years ago when I was working as a house painter. I was painting one side of a porch overhang while, unknown to me, a huge wasp nest was located on the other side.
Next thing I knew, I was under attack. I jumped off my short step ladder and retreated as the wasps worked me over, especially my face.
A bystander suggested I apply tobacco, but I didn’t have any and neither did he, so I headed for the house, where I probably used baking soda.
After that I made a point of trying tobacco the next time I got stung, and it worked fabulously. The trick is to leave it in place at least 15 minutes and as long as 30-45 minutes, depending on the severity of the stings.
I don’t know how it works and I don’t care. It works.
An outdoor Menace
Anyone who fools around outside can tell stories of stings and bites. My left wrist is currently dappled with welts from fire ant bites after I cut and hauled dense brush while wearing short sleeves. Toothpaste is supposed to be the best remedy for ant bites, but I confess I don’t use anything.
On the calf of my right leg is a round purple scar from a spider bite, or that’s what I assume it was.
Last month I noticed a red, inflamed spot about the size of a quarter that didn’t go away. I consulted with a doctor, who put me on a round of antibiotics. The inflammation went away but the scar remains.
I don’t recall getting bitten, but I’m told it’s often that way with venomous spiders.
An early start
My first experience with venomous insects came at age 2 or 3 when my family went camping at Reelfoot Lake, Tenn. I don’t remember this, but my siblings tell of how a hornet took a dislike to me and, despite my mother’s attempts to protect me, finally got me.
What I do remember was that the mosquitoes were so bad my parents put me in the back seat of the car, which was sweltering on the summer night. When I cracked the window for air, mosquitoes surged in.
My parents were not campers and didn’t bring such luxuries as tents or mosquito netting.
Maybe the experience helped prepare me for all the nights I later spent camping in a variety of mosquito-ridden places.
I learned not to panic when it seems like mosquitoes are going to drain you dry. I bring thick long sleeves and use a bit of bug spray.
I’m also fortunate not to be a mosquito magnet like some people — my wife, for instance. One time we were canoeing Blue Lake in the Adirondacks when Angelyn complained about the mosquitoes.
I hadn’t noticed any, but when I saw her silhouette against the dusk sky, I saw a cloud of mosquitoes surrounding her.
Long list of tormentors
Then there are chiggers and ticks, which abound in southwest Mississippi, mainly in the piney woods.
I grew up partly in Memphis and we would come down to Grandma’s house in Amite County every summer. Invariably I would return home speckled with chigger bites and ticks.
Now, having lived in Amite County for close to 50 years, I’m virtually immune.
And let’s not forget bees and yellow jackets. Honey bees have the unfortunate propensity of leaving their stinger in your flesh, so you have the double pain of the sting and the stinger removal.
Bumble bees are really tough. One was buzzing around my head one time and I swatted it with my cap. It popped me on the head like a right hook from Mike Tyson.
Yellow jackets attack in hordes from their nests in the ground, as many of us have learned while mowing grass. For such cases I can only recommend a handy supply of chaw.
