So the holidays are coming to a close and it’s time for New Year’s resolutions.
OK. I resolve to be kinder and gentler. I resolve to never get angry but to appreciate each moment of life. I resolve to be courteous and friendly to everyone I meet. I resolve to be a better human being.
Whew! Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the mother of all New Year’s resolutions: losing weight!
Now this is a subject I could write a book on. In fact, I could probably make more money that way than publishing a community weekly. (Note to self: Resolve to write a diet book.)
“But you’re not fat,” everyone says to me. “You don’t need to diet.” This is backward logic. The reason I am thin is because I do diet. If I didn’t diet, I would be fat.
I love to eat. I love to eat animals, plants, fruits, roots, fungi, crustaceans, mollusks and pretty much anything that has nutritional value. I like things without nutritional value even more.
I have the pig-out gene. On numerous occasions people have looked at me incredulously and said, “I have never seen anyone eat that much in my life.” There is nothing I don’t love to eat. I don’t like to stop until I am completely stuffed. Worse, I love wine with dinner.
You see then, I have had to master the art of dieting.
If you have the pig-out gene, it is important to have a counterbalancing predisposition. In my case, vanity. As much as I love to eat, I am far too vain to become fat. Age I accept. I cannot stop that. I got lucky with hair, which is also beyond control. But a waistline is somewhat under your control. You only have to be obsessive enough.
Frugality is my other weapon. I am far too cheap to buy new clothes.
Eight years ago, I lost 20 pounds. Slowly but surely, they came back. When I noticed my clothes were too tight this past year, I got back on the wagon. Here are some observations I have about the process:
1) It is far more enjoyable to put the weight back on than to take it off.
2) Buy three scales that generally agree with one another. That way, you cannot blame your weight gain on an inaccurate scale.
3) You must meet hunger in the eye and face it down. There is no alternative to this.
4) When you get on a weight loss kick, don’t stop until people start making comments about anorexia. Then you know you are done.
5) Learn to like raw fish. Jackson has a ton of sushi restaurants. Deep ocean raw fish can give you a protein rush that can alleviate hunger in a relatively low-cal way.
6) Buy a treadmill and hang a TV in front of it. Only watch TV while on the treadmill. This turns a negative into a positive. Find a really good series on Netflix that makes you want to jump on the treadmill to watch the next episode. I lost three pounds on “Game of Thrones” and another three pounds on “House of Cards.”
7) Buy some good smartphone apps to track and graph your weight loss.
8) Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, eggplant and other vegetables can be great fillers. Cooked correctly with some salt and maybe a tad of olive oil, these dishes can fill you up in a low-cal way. Learn to make these dishes a big part of your diet. Become a salad guru.
9) If you want to really peel off the pounds, try fasting once a week. When I fast, it is zero calories. Diet drinks, coffee, tea are allowed, but nothing with caloric content. Many people don’t fast because they get a headache. The headache is caused by breaking the carb-insulin cycle. You want to break this cycle to lose weight. The headache is something you simply must endure to break through, much like a long-distance runner breaking through “the wall.”
The hardest one-day fast is the first. They get progressively easier and the weight falls off so fast, your adrenaline from positive self-esteem can offset some of the hunger. If you avoid carbs on the days between fasting day, you can initiate a state of “ketosis” in which your body is burning only fats for energy. In this state, you can actually feel a burst of energy and the pounds slough off rapidly.
10) Take up tennis. Singles tennis burns per hour almost 70 percent as many calories as running. That’s because tennis is nothing but starting and stopping. Think city miles per gallon versus highway miles per gallon.
11) Diet before you go on vacation, not after. You’ll enjoy your vacation so much more.
A bum shoulder and the holidays have now put back eight of the 20 pounds I lost. The great Christmas food was worth it. January is upon us. The discipline must replace the indulgence.
Let your spirit prevail over your flesh.
Happy New Year and good luck!
