Sixth-grade girls and boys often have inappropriate ways to flirt, ways that involve hitting, hollering, or harassing. In response to students’ complaints, the teacher may say something like, “If he’s mean to you, that means he likes you.” I am guilty of having said that myself.
Why would we teach that when we make a U-turn and tell young women that hitting, hollering, and harassing are abusive behaviors? We have also empowered children to identify abuse.
“Mean Girls” may have been a popular movie, but the concept of being mean to others goes against the Golden Rule and everything that we try to teach children.
Let us not teach any more girls that being objectified by boys, men or the culture is acceptable. Too many of our girls and young women put entirely too much value on their sexuality to the exclusion of their other positive qualities: kindness, intelligence, talent and ambition, to name a few.
For years, I have told young people that their true value lies with God. Period.
My daughter is athletic. She was on the 4x100 and 4x200 relay teams at McComb High School that won the state championship two years in a row. She could run the baseline in 13 seconds and got the Most Stolen Bases award for high school when she was in the seventh grade. She was the MVP in soccer.
She is also very strong academically. At high school graduation, she wore a boatload of honor and activity cords. She was onstage with Dr. Ellis for being a Superintendent’s Scholar all year. Her GPA is strong. She was in the National Junior Honor Society and the Beta Club. Also, she is beautiful with a terrific little figure.
Which attribute — athleticism, intelligence, physical attractiveness — will stand her in the best stead in her future? Certainly, not her sexuality.
God has given her many gifts, and she understands that her value lies in Him. Further, she understands that God means for her to be treated well, and she does and is going to do her utmost to make that happen.
We cannot afford to allow our girls and young women be anything other than the valued children of God that they are. We must teach them to expect and even demand respect. They need to realize that real men, confident men, Godly men should treat them well.
So, let’s stop telling girls that it means a boy likes you if he is mean to you. It means that he is mean. That is all.
Girls and young ladies, act like ladies. Act like you are valuable. Demand that, and if someone likes you, he will be nice and kind and considerate. If he does not, put him aside. You will eventually find someone who will.
